My question is basically directed to Koreans but anyone who's familiar with current Korean culture and etiquette is more than welcome to respond.

I am Korean myself but did not grow up in Korea. In fact, other than appearance, for all intents and purposes, I'm very much "American" but since I was raised in a Korean family I am familiar with and observe the social etiquettes and requirements when interacting with other Koreans; here's the question:

As far as I understand (in Korean culture), when money is changing hands (as in, a customer is paying for something) it's proper Korean etiquette to accept the money when it is being handed to you...that is, when something is handed to you, you in turn must put out your hand to receive it; as opposed to having the customer put the money on the counter and you picking it up. (I would say, though, that this is also a more universal etiquette as most mothers would probably teach their children to accept something when it is handed to them.)

But, as far as Korean etiquette is concerned, wouldn't it be considered extremely rude if you were paying for something and the receiving person makes no gesture or attempt to accept the money and so after a brief moment of awkward hesitation you are forced to drop/leave the money on the counter? (In this situation, I don't mean like a convenience store where it's busy and everything is done quickly.)

A friend of mine says that while that appears to be a breach of etiquette, it actually is not. He says that, now, in Korea amongst younger people, it is acceptable to do that if the interaction is between a man and a woman because the hand to hand might result in contact between the two.

Has anyone in Korea heard about this? I'm not convinced of his explanation. Does this sound plausible? I'm not up to date on my current Korean social/cultural norms so I don't know what to make of this and was hoping to get some feedback.

Sorry for the long post...hopefully someone can help me out.

When handling money, you use two hands. Hold the money in one hand, palm up, and place your other hand (also palm up) beneath the first hand.

If you don't have two hands free, touch your hand (that doesn't have the money) to the money-hand arm.

LOL! Does that make any sense? It's easier to show than to describe!

At any rate, you receive money in the same way.

Actually, that part I understand...I understand the mechanics of it.

i was more curious if anyone was familiar with a "new" etiquette that doesn't require this. My friend insists that there is but I find it hard to believe. Like you, I think that is the way money should be transferred between customer and service provider without exception.

The only time a Korean has said something about this to me was after I handed him my ID card at the gate to get onto base. I did the right hand holding item, left hand touching elbow gesture. He told me that it wasn't necessary. I told him that I would rather err on the side of respect.

I see men and women holding hands all the time. I have been in Korea for 6 years and never heard this.

I can see where ON BASE it wouldn't be necessary, but on the economy, I would think that this basic form of etiquette would speak volumes with the local people. Ugly Americans and Foreign White Devils have a bad enough reputation (earned or unearned, I don't care) - I think it is a matter of respect to acclimate to the culture in which you abide.

While I believe that Koreans might appreciate a non-Korean adopting certain Korean etiquettes and would indeed see it as a token of respect, they wouldn't necessarily view it as disrespectful if one didn't follow the strictly Korean etiquettes (e.g., the two hand) as opposed to universal etiquette that cross cultural boundaries.

In the case of the ID on the military base, the Korean felt it wasn't necessary for the non-Korean to perform the two hand gesture because he wasn't Korean. Because the other is not Korean, it's neither expected nor required. On the other hand, I believe that a well mannered Korean is absolutely required to perform that courtesy to a non-Korean even though that non-Korean may be unaware of that social mannerism. The simple fact that the Korean is aware of what is courteous is sufficient cause for him to perform the gesture regardless of whether or not the other is aware of the etiquette; he is required regardless of that fact. And so it follows, that between two Koreans the two hand gesture is required.

Your first post says your question is " basically directed to Koreans..."
I hope one shows up sooner or later!
In the meantime, we welcome you to our forum, and hope you can help us
in our quest to be good neighbors to all persons of all nationalities in Korea!

I personally believe that the "Two handed" method is appreciated by all Koreans, and you will never go wrong with that.
Foreigners shouldn't be faulted for not being aware of such a custom, but those foreigners who do observe it will be elevated one respect notch by the Koreans who notice and appreciate that you are schooled in the old custom.
I do not propose to speak for the younger generation. They show respect for elders, for the most part, and since I fit in the elder category, I'm grateful!

I think you've put too much thought into the "why" part of this.

I don't think Koreans give even a split second of thought to "do I...or don't I" when they are handing something to someone. The touching of the right arm with the left hand happens automatically ~ because they've done it that way all their lives.

Who gives a dang on how to recieve or hand out money. There is no etiquette in receiving or giving money. You just hand it to him/her as you wish. You use two hands, one below the other when shaking hands with someone you've never met or elders, but when paying money, you do as you desire, but then who thinks about that....