I want my Man Space! **Women read at your own risk**

mike · #1 07-31-2006, 12:58 PM

This thread was inspired by a discussion I had at work last week.

I may make a 2 minute video clip on this eventually.

Guys, there is an unwritten rule of the man space. Apparently, many of you have not been read in because I have seen this rule violated time and again. Well, after reading this thread you have no excuse!

Man space is not just a rule used in movie theaters where guys leave a seat empty between each other. Man space is a rule in many spaces and locations!

For instance the public restroom is one of the critical areas where man space should be observed. Here are some general rules for man space in the bathroom. For all examples there are 5 urinals and 5 stalls. Picture provided for detail.

RULES FOR URINALS

1. If you enter the bathroom and you are the only one in there take a urinal at the end (#1 or #5). No one like to walk in and have to urinate by you! You must select urinal #1 or urinal #5. If you select #3 then you have broken the don't ask, don't tell policy!

2. If you enter a bathroom and someone is at urinal #5, don't take urinal #4. Same goes for urinal #1 and #2! Again, you have broken the don't ask, don't tell policy! This has happened to me many times. I already have to deal with a guy looking at my unit when I do an urinalysis.

3. If you walk into a bathroom with another guy trailing just behind you and a guy is already at stall #1, take urinal #5. This will force the trailer to take urinal #3 or flee to the stalls for a pee. This is called the "pincer maneuver" and is extremely funny! If you are the trailer take #4 to counter the pincer maneuver and make #5 uncomfortable. Having the Pincer maneuver used against you is the only reason to break rule #1.

The Pincer maneuver is a proven military maneuver. From Wikipedia.org:

Quote:

The pincer movement (double envelopment) is a basic element of military strategy which has been used, to some extent, in nearly every war. The maneuver is mostly self-explanatory; the flanks of the opponent are attacked simultaneously in a pinching motion after the opponent has advanced towards the center of an army which is responding by moving its outside forces to the enemy's flanks, in order to surround it. At the same time, a second layer of pincers attacks on the more extreme flanks, so as to prevent any attempts to reinforce the target unit.

Here is a fine example of the Pincer maneuver being pulled off to aviod the kiddy stall.

4. If you don't know me, don't talk to me. I don't know why guys feel they have to see how my day was. I think this image says it all.

5. Rule #5 is what I call, "breaking my man space from 4 urinals away." It is ok to point your body in the opposite direction when urinating, but don't point in my direction. Once I walked into my work bathroom and a guy was at urinal #5 and was tilted in a 45 degree position in my direction with a s**t eating grin. I immediately looked away. I slowely walked over to urinal #1 and unzipped. I looked out of the corner of my eye (at head level of course) and he was grinning and looking straight at me! My unit immediately shrivled and I had to wait for him to leave before I could urinate.

6. Opening you belt, all of your buttons and pulling your pants down to urinate is over the top and a violation of rule #6. You are not taking a dump! How much room do you need to urinate? I have walked in and seen guys pants down to their knees. What is up with this!

RULES FOR STALLS

1. Rule #1 is much like rule #2 for urinals. If a guy is pinching one off in stall #1 or #5 (following the rules) then don't move in to stall #4 or #2 right near him. This is as rude as it gets! You are sitting just 1 foot away from him and the stall-wall is there for privacy, not for blocking your stinkyness! Some of the greatest thinking known to man kind has occurred on the throne and you may have just disturbed his thought process by bombing right near him! Don't be the guy who disturbed the man coming up with the solution to world hunger!

2. If you break rule #1, you have just set yourself up for reprisal. By breaking rule number one the other member has every right to get you back with the "juicy handle." The juicy handle is when a guy leaves the stall after a long labor, doesn't wash his hands and wipes his man juice on the exit handle before he leaves. When you are done with your labors and wash your hand, you will then be grabbing the Juicy Handle. This can be countered by using a paper towel to open the door.

Here is an infraction by a male owner of a restuarant. He should be arrested and his resturant she be closed for this huge man space violation!

You have now been read into the Man Space Rules. Follow them our the Man Space Gods will have their way with you!

Gangster · #2 07-31-2006, 03:50 PM

What is the rule when you go to sports stadiums and they don't have urinals, they instead have a long trough?

Parisok · #3 08-04-2006, 12:28 AM

Trouth Rule - At double Arm interval

mike · #4 08-06-2006, 08:16 AM

The trough rule is something that must be incorporated! I would say at least a single arms interval. If a place is packed an elbow's length is enough (placing the palm of your hand on your hip and placing your elbow towards the guy next to you).

I have been to clubs where guys lean on you because they are so drunk. I have also seen clubs with porn placed all over the bathroom. What a stupid idea! You have drunk guys already riled up in a club, then they whip out their unit and stare ate naked girls. Do you think that may get these guys to be more aggressive in that club?

chucksnee · #5 08-06-2006, 09:32 AM

Since we are talking about Urinals, i figured I would throw this picture in.

Forums	Arcade	Gallery	Links	Register	FAQ	Members List	Calendar
Classifieds	Articles	Quizzes	Search	Today's Posts	Mark Forums Read

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode