Question for those of you in country...

What are your feelings about the latest news reports? Are people trying to get back to the U.S. or is it just another day in South Korea?

Thanks!

Kara

Hi, y'all! :)

Bwahhaha..and you thought you were rid of me for good! LOL :) No such luck guys, y'all are stuck with me! :)

I'm sorry it's been so long since I posted, but as I mentioned before, while travelling, my internet connection is iffy at best, so I'm only able to post now and then... I actually had thought I had posted a reply to this particular question, but apparently the board ate it,soooo...here goes again! :) LOL :)

First of all, welcome to the board, Kara! We're glad you've joined us,and I hope you find this discussion as invaluable a resource as I have! I think you'll find the people here wonderfully friendly, intelligent, and helpful! I know I certainly have! :)

As for immunizations recommended for a tour in Korea, I was informed by someone who supposedly worked in a base immunization clinic, that when it comes to immunizations for dependants, the AF policy is that they cannot officially force a dependant to take any immunization, nor are they supposed to be allowed to even tell you what you may need to go to a foreign country. Again, this is unconfirmed, but if it *is* true, IMHO, the policy about disseminating info is *absurd* and a major challenge to public health in many ways.

As for my experience, and mine alone, I went to the immunizations clinic on our base, and asked what I would need for Korea, and the rep I spoke with did my shots and my son's all at the same time as hubby's. Both my son and I had Hep A vaccinations, and Typhoid, and I had my tetanus booster (the new serum that's kind of like the dtp for kids! :) ) I would -highly- recommend getting those immunizations, you may never need them, but it's always better, I think , to be safe than sorry, especially since the shots are free. I got mine, as I mentioned, with nothing more than a verbal request, but you might want to check with your immunization clinic as some places, I'm told , will require a prescription from your PCM to actually give you the shot.

JJ's experience in not being required or informed about shots isn't unique, however.. my next door neighbor at our previous base is also going to Korea, command sponsored, with her two kids....and she was neither informed or administered any vaccinations at all.

My husband was actually also supposed to have received a small pox vaccine, but due to the presence of a child with allergies in the house, that requirement was waived for him, but from the research I've done, that is the only vaccination that is actually almost not recommended for dependants, because of the side effects, etc. and the lack of actual practical necessity of it. Neither myself or my son had that one!

I hope that helps!

Again, welcome, Kara... !

*hugs*

Dee :)

((2 weeks and counting , y'all :) ))

Personally, I don't know why a spouse would want to go through all of this and put kids through it to follow someone who has been ordered to go on a one year tour. The status quo on the Korean peninsula could change in a heartbeat in todays world. There are many insecurities in many marriages I suppose. I did several unaccompanied tours during my military career and my marriage survived. I never would have thought of trying to bring my wife and kids to a potentially hostile area when I was on a remote. To each his own but most marriages can survive time apart. Cut the umbilical cords already.

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Turk Quid Pro Quo

Turk,

Certainly, you're entitled to your opinion, and experience, and I'm sure all of us here are delighted for you that things worked out for you. It's wonderful to hear that your marriage did survive your unaccompanied tours, I'm certain that many others have that experience, although current statistics don't seem to bear that out, testament, perhaps to either the changes that have occurred in the military environment since your time in, or perhaps even to changed in society. It's very encouraging to hear of success stories, especially since given the war that's going on in the other parts of the world, many of the spouses here have either already experienced a necessary and unavoidable year-long separation due to deployment, and if we haven't already, we're all aware that we will likely end up facing that prospect if we haven't already.

As for the tour to Korea, however, a wise person once reminded me that the path that is right and chosen for one person, the decisions that you made, may not be right for everyone. While I respect and am glad for your happy experience, as for me, and my family, we sincerely don't feel that that same path would be right for us. Is either point of view to be condemned? I don't think so. Will any of us regret our decisions? Only time will tell, however.. such regrets are consequence in any decision we make, are they not? :)

As for why we who choose to come non-command sponsored choose to do so, however, I fear I disagree with your assumption that we're all choosing to do this just out of some desperate need or dependance on our spouses ordered on remote. Everyone has their own motivations, and reasonings for making the choice to come to Korea NCS, and quite frankly, although I can't speak for others here, for me personally, "cutting the umbilical cord" has -very- little to do with my choice. I can assure you that none of us has come to this decision lightly, without much consideration,and thought, second-guessing, and doubt, and finally, great resolve.

Is wishing to spend a year with my husband a factor in my choice? Undeniably. I think anyone that would assert that any spouse likes to be away from their significant other for a year duration would be grievously erroneous to do so, and yes, Virginia, there are still some families that do believe in family togetherness, sharing family meals,etc, even in this high pressured, fast paced world we live in, and to those who would criticize those values, I'd say poo. (*G* Yes, I know, great literary word there, huh? :) ) However, Is family togetherness the sole factor in my decision to go NCS? No. Quite frankly, I've always been the adventurous sort, and this offers me the opportunity to see and experience life in a new, and very different culture and part of the world,and to live every moment of my life to the fullest. If I can do that at my husband's side, all the better. I also plan to document this experience with photographic and written words, to share with others what it -is- like to see and live in such a different culture than our own, hopefully recording what could be a somewhat pivotal time in international relations with a first-person experience to pass down to my children, and grandchildren. That, if you will note, has nothing at all with the insecurity and fears that you seem to wish to attribute as motivations for those who choose to accompany their husbands in a NCS status.

Also, if you will note, the option of coming to Korea with command sponsorship is available as well, with a year's extension... are the women who choose to follow that path merely holding on to "the apron strings" as well? The decision a spouse makes to go command sponsored is no different essentially than what we, as ncs spouses have decided, it's merely, after all is said and done, officially sanctioned,and for a longer duration. They still face the same dangers you would speak of, and yet, choose to go. Is their choice really much different than the choice we as NCS spouses, and active duty spouses that support our decisions have made?

While I'm certain we all appreciate your participation in this thread, I would venture to ask that, on the behalf of others, you would refrain from labelling us all as "insecure in our marriages", or "tied to our husbands by umbilical cords", etc..not only is such a vastly unfair stereotype, but also is quite inaccurate.

If you step back from your perceptions long enough to perhaps look at those ladies, especially those who frequent the board, without such a judgemental tone, and the presupposed notion that we're all somewhat insecure in either our own identities or our marriages, you might be surprised to find that those who are choosing to come NCS actually show as much, if not more, courage, strength, knowledge, independance and determination than many of the spouses that do stay home, and wait this year out, they simply exhibit it in a different way.

Thanks,

Dee :)

The military hasn't changed fundamentally. An order to go on an unaccompanied tour is still an order to go on an unaccompanied tour. An oath taken where service comes before family still means service comes before family. People who show up at the bases door step expecting to be taken care of when the budget hadn't planned for them cause strains on the system. And you're right I'm entitled to my opinion and there it is. Don't like it or the way the military does business when it comes to assignments then take it up with congress or tell your spouse to get out instead of crying and *****ing about having to spend a year apart. A year, big frickin deal!

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Turk Quid Pro Quo

Wow, Dee that response was extremely well put and certainly summed up how I think most of us feel about coming to Korea. You did a great job and weren't insulting or judgemental. Excellent posting...

A bit of a conundrum with several of your statements here..

A) Regardless of where my husband is stationed, the military is obligated (at least currently, although I do expect with the budget cuts that are coming, and the financial taxing upon the military due to the war in Iraq, that those benefits will be changing in the next few years.) to provide a family with housing allowances, medical care,etc. There is nothing financially that I will be receiving as a NCS spouse that I wouldn't be receiving if I stayed home, so the financial obligation would be the same. In fact, if you check BAH charts, there are many areas of the country that offer far higher amounts in BAH than the OHA in Korea, so in effect, it could be more costly for the military for a spouse to relocate to one of those areas than to accompany a husband in Korea. In addition, if you consider the loss of other benefits such as separation allowances,etc. , the financial benefits of going to Korea are rather minimal. As I've said many times.. if a family wishes to benefit financially from the tour to Korea, by all means, stay in the US, live with family at no cost, and bank that extra BAH. I'd almost guarantee that the military puts out more money in that instance than they do for any ncs spouse.

And again, there is the issue of the command sponsored spouse in Korea...the expenses endured by the military on their behalf, it would seem, would be rather hearty as well.

B) A small point,and in my opinion, a rather irrelevant one, but, in the sense of exact nature..no where in the oath that my husband took when he joined the military was the phrase "service before family" located, I believe the exact phrase was "to defend any enemy foreign or domestic."

But again, that's a rather..insignificant point,and really not of any constructive commentary.

C) Crying and whining about spending a year apart? Well, in that instance..you're definitely speaking to the wrong group. It seems to me that we NCS spouses are the ones that aren't sitting around whining and crying, we're actually taking charge and doing something.

C) "A year, big frickin' deal." I wonder how big a deal a year is to someone who has terminal cancer, with only a year to live.. or to someone dying (or more appropriately,living) with AIDS. No one is guaranteed tomorrow, every day could be our last, each moment of the 525,600 minutes that compromise a year is a new adventure, a new journey that we've been granted.. and in my opinion, and my opinion -only-, and in the philosophy I live my life with.. every year, whether on a remote or simply in life -is- a huge deal, and I plan to live every one to the fullest. Carpe diem.

As to your expression of your opinion, as has been stated several times previously, it is certainly your right to express it, and I'm certain that no one on the board would question that. Thank you for sharing it. I only find it regrettable that you seem to be unable to do so without appearing to be insulting to the very folks that frequent this forum, and would question why, given your opinions, you would choose to actually frequent this particular thread of the forum, save for the purpose of causing discord.

Now, that being said, I can now exercise my right to ignore your expression of your opinion, and go on with my life as I wish.

Have a wonderful day. :)

Dee :)

Turk just so you can read what Dee said again...In case you have forgotten.


Now as for the marriage thing, I was away from my wife for a year and I decided to stay 2 more then she came over along with my son.

We could also turn your little paragraph around on you. Why WON'T your wife come with you to KOREA? Is she scared to leave her job? Everything is over here that is needed to take care of your wife. Even CONGRESS told the Military to PAY the OHA is she was over here.

Are the wifes that don't come, i'm sure they are not inscure. But they could be about leaving their home the SECURITY of being around family.

Either way, don't put down other spouses because they want to follow. Its called a FAMILY and if you don't like it OH FREAKING WELL................

__________________
CH-47 SI

They must find it difficult...

Those who have taken authority as the truth, rather than truth as the authority. --Gerald Massey

Turk,

In my seven years of marriage I have memorized a lot of military things. I know the Air Force Honor Guard Creed and how high a woman's heels may be in uniform. I know where stripes should be sewn on a sleeve and I can decipher more acronyms than most of the civilian population combined. I believe the core value is "Service before self", not "Service before family". Although I can see how you're making the leap in substituting "family" for "self", that is not the actual wording.

My husband has already done a remote at Osan. I did not go. In fact, I actually went to England instead, but at that time we weren't married and we didn't have any children. I enjoyed my time abroad but missed being able to share both my experiences with him and sharing his experiences as well.

My interest in accompanying him this tour has absolutely nothing to do with trust or money. It would actually be easier on the Air Force, financially, if we went to Korea since the BAH for where we would stay CONUS would be more than the OHA and utility payment combined. The Air Force currently has a responsibility to support us no matter where we are - Korea or CONUS.

Yes, my husband enlisted in the Air Force. He chose this job and knew that he would most likely have to spend time away from his family. Does that mean that we have to accept him being sent off when there is an opportunity for us to not only remain together as a family unit, but experience a different culture together? This would be an amazing learning time for my children and myself, a time that we may not ever have the opportunity to experience again.

My marriage would survive a year long unaccompanied tour to Korea. The status of my marriage has nothing to do with why we are trying to decide whether to go.