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  #1  
Old 05-25-2006, 06:06 PM
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America, land of the lawsuit!

Here is a list of lawsuits that actually happened in America!

1. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

2. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.

4. A. Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 a! after she slipped on a soft drink spill and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

5. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

6. A jury of her peers awarded Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, $780,000 after breaking her ankle by tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

7. This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
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Old 05-25-2006, 06:24 PM
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Not one of those surprise me, really!

Why do you think there is a caution on EVERY step of a ladder including the very top step that says do not step here.
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Old 05-25-2006, 08:40 PM
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That's why America needs signs like your avatar, mike.

Can you imagine Korea with a law system like the states; being able to sue like that!? People would be rolling down stairs of department stores and subways every day!
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Old 05-26-2006, 12:18 AM
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America needs to deal with other problems just as large as these lawsuits; such as:

The impending Alien Invasion from Planet X. Everyone else has forgotten about it, but the aliens ARE coming... and they're linked to Al Qaeda.

Illegal, migrant, Abominable Snowman day laborers. These Canadians are stealing American jobs, while retaining priveleges specifically set aside for hairy, white men.

Satanic, Feminazi Abortion Sex-Cults. Feminists have not only sucessfully fought for a right to murder embryos, but now seek a right to kill even the pre-conceived. We need to stop Plans B through Z.

The Avian Bird Flu is not the pandemic we should be worried about. Stulta-fluenza is a 1,000% times more contagious and already in the US. We should start the culling immediately.

A flare up of 1812 War. Britain is poised for another invasion if we allow English to be named our National Language. We fought the Germans so we wouldn't speak German, we fought the Vietnamese so we wouldn't speak Vietnamese, we fought the Panamanians so wouldn't speak Panamanian and we are fighting in Iraq in order to not speak Iraqi. We must must maintain our American Languages. Give no quarter, no extra u or e, to the Tories!

The emasculation of the American man. Just like Louisiana continues to lose land to the Gulf of MEXICO, Americans' willies are being devoured by feminists. During the reign of our Founding Fathers, penile size was measured in feet, now we American's measure it in inches, but thank God we're not French, because then we'd be measuring in centimeters. Invest now in Male Enhancement or your children will become stunted little frenchmen.

Gay Marriage. Happy marriages spell an end to traditional marriage as we know it. How can we expect the current, and next generation to marry 2 or 3 times if marriage is a continual state of bliss.


If you haven't figured it out, these lawsuits are HOAXES.
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  #5  
Old 05-26-2006, 05:49 AM
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I was just going to say that...they are indeed hoaxes....the Winabago story alone should give it away...another hint is "the jury awarded"...do you think a jury of our peers would be stupid enough to side with a some of these people?
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